Who I Think You Are Based On Your Name

Like a horoscope, only way more judgmental

Jessa Murray
3 min readNov 10, 2020
Image by Victoria Borodinova from Pixabay

Since I was little, I had a theory that people’s names gave a decent warning about who a person was. This theory is NOT based in fact. It is based on a series of coincidences that have led me to believe I have a good guess of who a person is from their name alone.

Not every name in the world will be listed. Mainly because I haven’t met many people. But also because I am a white, twenty-year-old girl with very little cultural background and knowledge.

If your name is the same as any of the following, it is NOT guaranteed your horoscope will fit.

Do with this information what you will. It’s not factually based. It’s not a call-out post for anyone with the names listed. It’s just a brief horoscope system I created for fun. Don’t take it personally.

These will not be in alphabetical order just to emphasize how not official this is.

  • Sarah: Sarah with an ‘h’ is hardworking. They usually have a small group of close friends and love long conversations about themselves.
  • Sara: Sara no ‘h’ is a wildcard. They likely grew up with zero structure, leading them to act out in ways others do not.
  • Riley: Riley was popular in high school. Rileys either end up one of two ways, becoming an ambassador for a pyramid scheme, or really genuine down to earth people.
  • Chandler: Chandler is the odd one in their friend group. Not in a bad way, but in a unique way. They’re smart and creative.
  • Ashley: Ashley talks a lot (not in a bad way). They always have conversation material and look out for their loved ones.
  • Jenna: The best person to confide in. Gives top-notch advice.
  • Katy, Kate, Katherine, etc.: People are drawn to you because you’re kind.
  • Cate, Caty, Catherine, etc.: You’re nice and you like to read.
  • Shane: People like Shane, but they aren’t always certain why. Usually pretty funny.
  • Allison, Alison, etc.: You’re insecure about your smile. Stop it! You look cute!
  • Andrew: Will most likely mansplain things to people (regardless of gender).
  • Lauren: People think you’re interesting and they want to hear what you have to say.
  • Taylor: Fiercely loyal. A friend for life.
  • Jennifer: You’re a mom. Whether that be literally or figuratively. Take care of yourself too.
  • Benjamin: So hot for no reason.
  • Nichole: You love trying new things.
  • Rachel: Smart af.
  • Nick: When’s the last time you cared about something?
  • Daniel: You’re quiet, but when you do speak, you’re pretty funny.
  • Brooke: Child at heart.
  • Mary: You do so much for other people. It can be intimidating.
  • Maddie: A friend to everyone.

If anyone finds this funny, or just wholeheartedly trusts my made-up system, let me know. I have more names and ample free time.

Again, don’t take any of these seriously. My opinions mean nothing. I have zero authority in every aspect possible.

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Jessa Murray

Musings about mental health, gayness, and whatever else is on my mind. She/her. Twitter: @jessamurray